


Sure you do.

by Dear_Evan_Kleinsen



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Angst, Anxiety, Connor Project does happen, Connor dies sorry :((, Crying, Cutting, Hospitals, I'm sad so this is sad, Im sorry jare, It's 12am what am I doing, Jared Angst, Kinda canon, M/M, Panic Attacks, Pills, So much angst, So so much angst, Suicide, Suicide Attempt, Underage Drinking, Well - Freeform, it follows canon until this happens, oh yeah, post good for you, vent ig
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-08
Updated: 2017-12-08
Packaged: 2019-02-11 22:57:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 673
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12945834
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dear_Evan_Kleinsen/pseuds/Dear_Evan_Kleinsen
Summary: It's not like he wanted this to happen.





	Sure you do.

**Author's Note:**

> If you're easily triggered by anything in the tags you shouldn't read this

"Fuck you, Evan! Asshole!" His voice wavered. He knew it did, but he didn't even care at this point. Tears slipped down his pale face as he ran off, shoulders hunched up and helpless sobs escaping his lips.

The tile floor of the bathroom was cold. Jared stared at his reflection, pointing out every single thing wrong with himself. Everything, everything was wrong with him.

Funny, isn't it? The Connor Project was all about no one being alone. But there Jared was, shaking hands picking up the pills he abandoned so long ago, his legs buckling as he fell to the floor, forgotten.

That morning he was supposed to be dead.

He wasn't.

"Oh my god, Jared! You're awake!" The familiar female voice rang through his hears as the brunette groaned, neck craning to the left, revealing the face of Alana Beck.

This wasn't what he wanted. No! This was supposed to be his release. This was worse than dying. This was worse than being forgotten.

This was being shoved away from freedom.

Goddamnit! He couldn't even kill himself correctly. Now what? Will he be scolded? No, who would care enough to do that? Will he try again?

Maybe.

The teen was shot out of his thoughts by the same voice asking him a question. It all sounded distant... even foreign. The chattering between the room's occupants- very few; his mother and Alana- was drowned out by the pounding of Jared's heartbeat. As the thumping got louder so did the macheine's beeping next to him.

Beat, Beep. Beat, Beep Beep. Beat, Beep.

It was too much. Jared didn't even know he was screaming until a doctor stood beside him, injecting some drug into his arm.

The liquid made everything fuzzy, and he was back to sleep once again.

 

 

He dreamed of a bridge, with himself and a man walking alone it. It actually seemed to be more like running. The stranger was pointing his finger furiously at Jared, smirking with this devilish glint in his eye. The one Jared is known the have. The same look Jared gave whenever he made fun of someone or something.

But no, this time, Jared looked mortified. His face was pale as he ran, eyes wide and hair frizzing everywhere. He turned a hard left, ending up skating right of off the large structure. Once his body crashed with the water, Jared's chest felt an insane amount of pressure, causing him to jolt out of his dream back into horrifying reality.

But, instead of the terrifyingly sweet face of Alana, there stood someone Jared never, ever thought he would see again.

~~~~~~~~

Evan took a deep breath and approached his vice-president, holding the most important words in his life right there in his fingers.

He explained the situation, about the 'real' suicide note. He failed to notice that somewhere in between this project, he was now less the puppet and more the puppeteer.

He also failed to notice the incredulous look on Alana's face until she actually slaps him.

Yes, Alana Beck slapped Evan Hansen.

 It surprised him, and she took that moment of vulnerability to shove another note in Evan's hands.

 

 "While you were off doing whatever, our treasurer, no, our FRIEND-" he noticed she didn't say acquaintance- "tried to commit suicide. Just like Connor. Evan, we, as this company, and as humans, cannot mentally take the death of two students."

 

  Suddenly, the slip of fake words weren't the most important ones anymore.

 

  The fading notecard held small scribbles of almost incomprehensible sentences.

_Dear Mom, Thank you for trying even when I was an asshole. I love you. And hey! One last kid to worry about <3 _

_Dear Dead( dad ), You were never there, but thanks for the XboX._

_Dear Alana, You're actually cool. You're going to go far. Good luck_

_Dear Connor Murphy, See you in hell buddy_

_Dear Evan Hansen My mom doesn't pay car insurance._

_Sincerely, Jared_

_~~~~_

 

There, in Jared's hospital room, was Evan Hansen.

 

"Fuck, I wasn't supposed to see your face again" 

**Author's Note:**

> I'm tired I might add to this tomorrow if I'm not lazy 
> 
> There's no editing it's 12 am bye


End file.
